This chapter is very intriguing, and
draws me to continue reading. The Characters are clearly
described, as are the surroundings. It has me curious to
know what lies in future pages for the dear King Tayo. Excellent
start to an exciting story to come.
Comment Written by kinrenton |
Dear Author, Chapter One is a fine,
engaging, and well written reading experience which the
author writes beautifully and entertainingly throughout.
I love your flawless description of the castle, the queen,
and other characters and their particular histories. I think
your dialogue works quite well.
Great write,
The
Masked Writer
Comment Written by
Cloaked
Writer Inc |
This is a darn well done story, Christine.
I found nothing wrong with the story.
Comment Written by Norbanus |
An astonishing piece of writing. You
have brought the reader right into each of the scenes. Your
characters, although many, are so descriptively portrayed
that one has no difficulty following the story line. And
the mesh of the old with the modern is really unique. If
there was a category for six stars, I would have given you
that.
Thoroughly enjoyable.
Comment Written by fastdigit |
The way you describe things in your
work makes you think you are
really there you can visualize it. Very well written will
go back and
start with chapter 1 hope to see more of it.
I would also like to have one of the milonights! Anything
with blue eyes
that likes a sharp dresser is great in my book! LOL
Thank you for sharing...Robin ^&^
Comment Written by RobinM |
WOW! This story is brilliant, with
such descriptive language and so much imagination, it is
a true work of excellence. It held my attention really well,
write more soon, I am looking forward to it.
Comment Written by Tarli-Rah |
Outstanding writing! You really take
the time to choose your words and lavish all the attention
that they need in order to sit just right! Very good!
Chris.
Comment Written by void-is |
Heck of a nice job of building this
chapter, Christine.
Comment Written by Norbanus |
|
This is awesome! Very well written.
I like the cover you've used to illustrate this. Great
graphics, did you make the cover? I like this.. what more
can I say??
Comment Written by carolinasangel |
A well written piece. The characters
were wonderful, I like the names you picked for them. They
came alive, very good descriptions and imagery throughout
the story, it was a good read. There isn't a thing that
I would want to change. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written by Iron
Maiden707 |
That was quite interesting. Good job,
I like the way you easily describe settings and build on
chracter descriptions without overtly flexing your author
muscles. Good job. Enjoyable read.
Comment Written by thebestsoul |
Good story. The character interaction,
the emotion and the dialogue were all great. This tale had
a nice pace to it; it kept my interest up. I look forward
to reading the next chapter.
Comment Written by driven |
Wow! this is something else. Your
talent shows through here. Your storyline is well set and
your characters come to life...well done. :-) Alex
Comment Written by Alexander
Brogan |
You drew me in right from the beginning
and didn't let go. It truly is an outstandingly well written
piece and if the whole book is this good you truly have
a bestseller on your hands.
Comment Written by thebestsoul |
This is a very intense chapter. I
do not know if I have read any of the other chapters but
judging by how well written this one is You have a winner
of a novel. The dialogue is intense and believable. The
action is smooth, alive, and full of drama. The descriptions
are vivid and intense. All and All this is a very good work.
WK
Comment Written by wintersknights |
Wow, a long chapter, but well done.
I was pulled into the story due to your details of the room,
and the character development. Again, well done. Thanks
for sharing. Mary
Comment Written by TCLabs |
This is excellent. I did not find
anything wrong with this since you pulled me in to the work
and kept me there. I knew that I had to leave this morning
only to come back to the site but I could not leave this
novel and decided to continue on. I loved how you keep the
intense emotions on a level that is almost breath taking.
good writing.
WK
Comment Written by wintersknights |
Christine Jones,
This is another great chapter. You done a wonderful job
as always. I definitely can't wait to read more! Write
on! Candy
Comment Written by carolinasangel |
Excellent writing
the descriptions are vivid and realistic. The passion and
emotions are transferred to the reader as they help pull
you into the world. I find the scenes realistic and alive.
good work, good writing
WK
Comment Written by
wintersknights |
Hey I just wanted to let you know
that I think this is a well written chapter. I could find
no technical errors or such to help you with. Good job.
Comment Written by hellfire0808 |
Powerful
I found this chapter building up to a part in the plot that
is exciting. The dialogue and the patterns of their minds
is very natural. I liked it very much and can not wait until
the next one. The power of your voice is fantastic.
WK
Comment Written by wintersknights |
Love the work it is definitely worth
all the five stars that I gave it. I loved all of it and
you should keep up the excellent work.
Comment Written by Ashlee14 |
This is great.
I am going to have to start with chapter one instead of
bouncing here and there! lol Nice
work as always! Very well written.
Comment Written by carolinasangel |
A very well written chapter here.
A bit long but nothing wrong with that. Just took me a while
to read it, that’s all. I’m enjoying the story
and the characters here, good job.
Comment Written by Crimson
Steel |
Great work keep it up its great that
you can write so much I gave your work
five stars cause I felt that the work is worth that much.
Comment Written by Ashlee14 |
A very strong chapter
The strength of the characters is very detailed in this
work. I feel the anger and the emotions that fold out with
great force. The dialogue is great.
good writing.
WK
Comment Written by wintersknights |
As
always the writing is wonderful. I am really enjoying this
story and have gotten my son reading it as well. He thinks
it's as good as the published book he's reading now. Your
description is excellent and put you right there with the
characters
Comment Written by tinker067 |
Christine, these chapters get better
and better with every stroke of the pen. I think this is
great! Wonderful work!
Comment Written by carolinasangel |
Wow
this is one fast moving chapter that I found I could not
read fast enough. This took my breath away and pulled me
into reading more. Your world is fantastic just what a fantasy
nut wants.
WK
Comment Written by wintersknights
|
The names of the characters are unique,
but not too far out there, I like that. The chapter is very
well written, just like the read. You've done a great job.
Comment Written by carolinasangel |
Excellent. This isn't even the genre
of story that I normally would read but you've done such
a good job that you've got me hooked.
Comment Written by tinker067 |
Hands
down, 5 stars. Very nice writing. It's edited, it has flow,
the meanings of sentences are clear, you establish visual
stimulation along the way (descr), and I enjoyed reading
it. Go for it CJ.
Comment Written by Jon
Kuntz |
That was a great story. I loved it.
You had a lot of great detail. You are a great writer. There
is not really anything that you have to work on. Your story
was amazing. You are really talented and have a lot of skills.I
can't wait to read more of your works of art in the very
near future.
Comment Written by dragonruler-1992 |
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